Everyone, in every relationship in which they engage, is trying to make it work. Everyone is trying to make every significant relationship they have work. Until the moment when they leave that relationship for good, they are trying to make it work.
This is an incredibly important insight for actors. Actors work on situations involving conflict, almost all of the time. And it’s often easy to look at a scene and think that from the point of view of her character, everything would be fine if the other person would just STOP DOING
The problem with looking at a scene in this way, any scene, even a scene in which you are trying to get someone to STFU or holding a gun to someone’s head, is that the actor is looking only at what the other character does that is wrong or offensive, and ignoring what they offer, what they bring to the table. And what the other character offers or brings to the table is the basis of the vulnerability in the scene. And vulnerability is what makes acting great, first and foremost.
Now, a word about vulnerability: vulnerability is not something “squishy” or “soft”. It is not a way of behaving. It is an awareness that the other person provides something of value, something precious, something worthwhile, that will be LOST if the connection to the other person were to be damaged. So you can be ripping someone a new one, or threatening them with a gun, and still be vulnerable to that person. Are you going to take me seriously as someone capable of using this gun? Are you going to take my threats and insults seriously, and mend your ways? Or are you going to ignore them? These questions reveal the vulnerability in some situations that we would not normally associate with vulnerability.
So again, looking at a scene as being about shutting the other person down in some way ignores the vulnerability in the situation of the character being played. In any scene, we have to look for a way to look at the situation such that we can get something good, in fact something vital, from the other character. So we can still try to get the other person to STOP DOING [THAT THING THAT THEY DO], but it’s in order to get back to the time when the connection between the two characters was sound, was strong, was a source of value and meaning. So the message has to be not “STOP THAT!” but “STOP THAT! DO THIS INSTEAD”, even if the lines all are saying “STOP THAT”.
That’s why at Andrew Wood we place a strong emphasis on defining the underlying objective for a character, which is the character’s way of naming, immediately and compellingly, what she needs from the partner, what it is that the partner can offer her that is good, that is vital, that she MUST HAVE. And then we work on the whole scene as the pursuit of that need. It’s easy to get lost in all of the “stop that!” or the “do this for me!” or the “leave me alone!” or the various ways characters try to transform their circumstances, and in the process lose sight of the importance of the relationship between the characters, which is in the end what the quality of the actor’s work depends on.
So remember: no matter what your character looks like he is doing, he is trying to make the relationship in front of him work. Always remember that. The relationship in front of him is valuable, and your character knows it. And he is working on saving that relationship, making it work. So that’s what you need to be working on as well.